3:02 am

I let myself drift away in all the sentences I've ever written and in all the thoughts I have left unspoken. To all the words I've ever known and to the greater vast of vocabulary I have yet to learn. 

I succumb in to the darkness, and at the same time in to the light, where I gave in to all the things I am aware and unaware of. To all the things I've learned to love and grew to hate, to all the things I've ever acquired and yet to loose. To all the things I have touched, and to all the things I was never meant to have. To those all I finally gave myself in. Without misgiving, without resisting. 

I let the seas wash away what's left of me, just as how I let the wind take control of where it shall  take me. I allowed the stars to determine my path, hoping it would lead me to somewhere less messed up as to where I am now. 

I removed my guards and my defenses, which made me not just vulnerable - but weak and exposed to whatever lies unknown. 

I've finally learned to let go, to set free and to just be still. I stopped holding on to whatever I think I was grasping, and as my fingertips untouched all my desires and wonders - it all made sense now. 

But please, know this very well; That I did not stop trying because I gave up, instead, I gave in. I stopped trying not because I grew tired or weary.

I stopped trying, because I've finally learned to trust the world, to trust the universe, and perhaps  all the gods before me. 

I stopped trying, because for once, I wanted to know how it is to be alive. I wanted to trust in life, just as how I wanted to escape a world of worries and doubts. 

For once, just this once, I wanted to forget it all. I wanted to stop resisting, for it will only wound me. I wanted to stop pretending, for it will only rot me. I wanted to stop being control of everything - for eventually, it will drain my soul.

And then finally, when I'm all set for free falling; I drowned  myself in thoughts of you, and as I sank deep in this madness that they called love, I've learned to live without having to breathe.