Maybe after all these times I wasn't really lost. Nor was I forsaken or unwanted or abandoned. Maybe I was just drunk in hate. The filth that stained me came from my own abomination, and the sorrows that covered me like a blanket was the product of my inability to forgive. And maybe, I deprived myself of my own happiness.
I build up my own defenses, blocking everything that comes my way - including people and chances - because of my fear of ever being hurt again. I forgot what it meant to be human.
To be human - which is to be vulnerable. I was too afraid and too defensive. Too broke to ever love again. Too hurt to ever forgive. Too tired, and sadly, too judged.
Life wasn't supposed to be lived like this. Life was not supposed to be lived in fear and hate. You bend and you break, you stumble then you bleed. That's how life works, whether you like it or you like it - cause darling, you won't be getting any other choice.
So you better strengthen yourself and learn to heal your wounds. Forgive, love, take chances, take risks, and most of all defeat fear.
Life isn't easy, so do yourself a favor and don't make it harder for you or anybody else.
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