My cause of death

At times I think of death,
Somehow you crossed my mind.
When my time is about to end,
And no hero can save my life.

I think I'd die of fire
Until I burn my soul
I think I'd die from illness
Or maybe when I am old

Sometimes I think of cars
And straight to me they'd crash
Sometimes I think of poison
How it could kill me in a flash

Of all these things, 
I could get killed
But You're the one
I mostly fear

You hold me close,
You hold my breath
You scare me better
Than any threat

Many things can end my life
But you kill me faster than any knife
Every time you make a lie
In my heart I know I've died

Yes, I would rather die for a bullet
Cause that would be easier to hold
- Than to watch you love someone else
And then die as you slowly go.

Peur

"I never really knew the meaning of  fear.
- Until I saw the way you looked at her."

photo courtesy of Ms. Sunyee Maluche   (@itsmesunyee on instagram)

I never feared death, nor oblivion.
But then I never knew I'd fear something so simple. 




As I sat in one corner, silent but filled with dismay, my eyes scanned every inch of her image, jealousy written all over my face. 

She was beautiful, with perfect dark hair that fell to her back, eyes that all woman would envy, and that kind of smile any guy would kill for. Her fair skin with no sign of flaw, her perfect body, and her charms.

Everything that I am not. 

As my eyes turned to you, I felt a sting in my chest. You were looking straight at her. You were even too busy to notice I was in the same room with you. 

I tried to hide this feeling, although the water in my eyes showed it all. Slowly, I try to close my eyes, as a teardrop ran through my cheeks.

I closed my eyes suddenly wishing to never saw it after all.
I never knew the true meaning of fear. Until she came along.

Jealousy, insecurities and fear of losing you mixed inside of me. It was that painful I felt burning in my heart. 

I've never been so afraid in my life.
Until now, I guess.

Simply Humans

Often times we forget what a human being's capacity really is.

We hate the idea of feeling bad with ourselves, we despite losing, failing, or when things doesn't seem to go our way.

Because of this we pretend to be okay even if we're far from being okay. We fool other people, ourselves too, that we are strong and unaffected.

The problem about us is that we try to ignore the pain.

The problem with us is that we pretend to feel numb, and pretend that we do not actually feel hurt at all.

This might work for a while, for a day, maybe for weeks but... feeling numb will never really suffice forever.

Feeling pain, exhausted, depressed, angry, lonely, hurt, jealous, insecure, envious, frustrated, confused, lost, broken, incomplete, and the likes; these are just some examples of emotions a human could not simply avoid.

All these are the trademarks of a human being. Like a symbolism engraved in our souls, just to remind us of what we really are. 

We are simply humans. The nature of a human is to fall when there is defeat, but the essence of a human's life is to rise after each battle.

Sometimes you have to put down the weight of the world, enough with pretending, enough with battling your insides - though as if you have any chance at all.

We are designed this way, so no matter how we try, we will always and forever work this way. 

A human feels lost once or twice in his life. A human cries and gets his heart broken, for some once, for others a number of times. We get hurt, we feel down, we feel upset, we get mad over the littlest of things.

No, this is not something to be ashamed of.

Admitting your weakness as a human is one of the nicest thing a person can ever do. 

Fall back, once in a while. So that you will have time to realize and look at yourself, that you may be reminded that strength and weakness is not seen in how many defeats you have encountered, but in how many times you have stood back up when you fall.